It’s that time of the year again.
Awkward small talk with family members you’d rather not see. Being crammed in a hot-house eating average food watching the Detroit Lions play what they call football. It’s Thanksgiving, a very overrated holiday that everyone seems to love.
People only love Thanksgiving because of the food.
Frankly the food isn’t that good. If your from the Midwest like me, turkey, greens, mashed potatoes and gravy are a weekly meal. That may be part of the reason it’s overrated to me but oh well I’m sticking to my guns.
Plus the sides all suck. Whoever invented green bean casserole needs to be shot. Canned corn and cranberry sauce are essentially baby food and then there is Brussels sprouts. If bacon can’t save you as a vegetable, you’re dead to me.
Only good thing out of this holiday is pumpkin pie. The basic bitch in me loves some pumpkin pie. Correction, I love pumpkin pie with my whipped cream. My slices are basically 80-20. 80% whipped cream 20% pie.
Pumpkin pie is the only star in this so-called holiday.
So when your aunt says “you’ve gotten bigger since the last time I saw you.” Show her so has your appetite as you take the last of the mac and cheese that you know she enjoys so much. After that and after finishing your 3rd helping. Watch Detroit play while your uncles give the worst football takes humanly possible and slip into your turkey coma.
Not to mention the Trump takes are gonna be coming in hot this year.
God speed everyone.