Christina El Moussa is single!!!!

HGTV power couple, and hosts of Flip or Flop, have announced they are splitting up.  While  people that live in fairy tale land are crying and offering up their T’s and P’s to the duo, Fat Sparxxx is at home licking his chops.  As Lloyd Christmas once said, “so, you’re telling me there’s a chance.”

Tarek El Moussa is the biggest doucher on the planet and didn’t deserve to even breathe the same air as this beautiful woman.  His terrible acting and inability to do anything manly made me embarrassed for Christina. How can she be with a man that gets off to hitting a kitchen counter with a sledgehammer but can’t do anything else?  No big deal or anything, but I replaced a flat tire with a spare yesterday.  It was nothing, just me using tools and getting my hands dirty.  Like I said, no big deal.

I have to put the blame here on HGTV’s perfect husband and wife duo, Chip and Joanna Gaines.  You know Christina was at home watching Chip be funny and awesome, as well as building a house from the ground up and just couldn’t take it anymore.  She is trading in this grown man that wears flip flops everyday, could it be for an out of shape freight broker?  Let’s hope so.  I will let her travertine and subway tile the hell out of my kitchen and bathroom any time she wants to.