TV Mom All-Time Team

I think I spent more thought on this than I did any paper throughout college, what up EKU?  I decided I had to make this list with the mindset of if I would want them as a wife.  That way I wouldn’t just make a list of the hottest moms, but had to take other qualities into play.  PLEASE comment on this with your opinions or if there were any omissions.

THE STARTING 5IVE

Gloria Pritchett; Modern Family

The hot mom of all hot moms.  Is her voice annoying as hell? Yes.  Is she a golddigger with no job? Yes.  But I don’t care one bit.  When you are as fine as she is, you can literally get away with murder.  She is the clear winner for hottest TV mom, it’s really just a competition for 2nd place.

Looks:  A+

Mom:  C+

Clair Huxtable; The Cosby Show

The older I get, the sexier Ms. Huxtable gets.  She’s a great mother, but I think it has more to do with her making bank.  My wife is a stay-at-home mom, which I love, but man it would be nice to have a woman bringing him 6 figures as a prominent lawyer.

Looks:  A+

Mom:  A+

Rebecca Pearson; This is Us

If it wasn’t for Gloria and Clair Huxtable, she would have the throne after just one season.  If you haven’t seen “This Is Us” and/or think I am gay for liking that show, then that’s a you problem.  Fantastic show.  Rebecca is super hot, can sing her face off, and is a great mother to 3 kids. Should she have told Randall about his dad earlier?  Probably.  But she was just looking out for his best interest.

Looks:  A+

Mom:  A

Peggy Bundy; Married with Children

Let’s be real, Peggy isn’t on here for being a great mom.  She is on here because she is a FREAK.  She was constantly begging Al for sex but my man wasn’t feeling it.  So, you know when she finally gets some action, she is the type of woman that will let you do whatever the hell you want.  Shit on her back, put it in her ear, you name it and she is down.

Looks:  B-

Mom:  F

Angie Lopez; The George Lopez Show

Another sexy latina on the list, automatic A for her on looks because of it.  She is a good mom and a ride-or-die for her husband.  There is something sexy about her being a wedding planner, I don’t know what it is.  All I know is I would give me left leg to do purple with her (if you didn’t watch the show you won’t get it).

Looks:  A

Mom:  B

KEY CONTRIBUTORS

Claire Dunphy; Modern Family

Claire Dunphy, again, my kind of woman.  Petite, likes to run, looks great after 3 kids.  Her mom skills are good not great and she knows how to put up with an idiot with a husband.  Bad thing for her is that she is on the same show as Gloria.  Claire is Pippen, Gloria is Jordan.  Just a bad situation for her legacy.

Looks:  B+

Mom:  B

Kristina Braverman; Parenthood

In terms of moms, she might be the goat. She raised a wonderful daughter that ended up going to Cal, let’s leave out the part where the daughter turned into a lesbian after dating a black guy.  She has raised a highly functional teenage son despite his Aspergers. And she is fertile enough to spit out another newborn 18 years after her first kid.  Kristina is a cancer survivor and a ride-or-die for her husband, which let’s be honest, is the sexiest trait a woman can have.  Great hair and super successful, I love her.

Looks:  B+

Mom:  A

ROLE PLAYERS

Claudia Finnerty; Grounded for Life

Another one of the moms that is above average looks wise and mother wise, but you know she’s filthy.  She got knocked up by her now husband in high school, nothing wrong with that, but you know she isn’t giving you the “I have a headache” when you’re trying to get some late night play.  Would it be cool to have a lunatic for a brother-in-law? Yeah, but it doesn’t move her to the top of the list.

Looks:  B

Mom:  B

Cheyenne Hart Montgomery; Reba

We have to leave out that she is married to Nick Swisher in real life, even though he is a bum it’s pretty cool.  She was knocked up in high school and is borderline retarded.  She thinks Vegas is in Utah and marijuana is a vegetable.  She also turns into an alcoholic towards the end of the show.  She is on here solely for her looks.

Looks:  A

Mom:  B-

Kim Warner; Yes, Dear

Kim is my cup of tea.  I am a petite kind of guy, a girl being low key thicc isn’t for me.  The only thing keeping her out of the starting lineup is the fact that she is a stay-at-home mom.  I already have that waiting for me at home.

Looks:  B+

Mom:  B+

 WALK-ON BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND JUST DIED

Maggie Seaver; Growing Pains

I’m not gonna lie, she is only on here because Alan Thicke died and I’m not 100% over it yet.  Yeah, she’s a good mom and has a job, but she doesn’t belong on this list and she knows it.

Looks:  C+

Mom:  B

 

 

 

 

 

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